A Winter Solstice Celebration
Four years ago I did it; I cancelled Christmas. I really did! I decided that I had had enough. Enough running around in the dark, cold weather trying to find the perfect gifts for everyone. Enough of wrapping presents until 3am on the floor of my bedroom, stopping every now and then to make sure that the sound of tape ripping wasn’t waking anyone up, or that my feet didn’t fall asleep from sitting on the floor for so long. Enough of baking dozens of varieties of cookies, attending programs, getting gifts for my children to exchange that stayed under the impossible 5 dollar limit. Enough of decorating, sending out Christmas cards, making lists that took days to complete. Enough of the feeling of pure exhaustion that hit on December 26th when I realized just how much money and energy had been spent, and for what? Basically, most of the gifts that were received, especially by my younger daughters who have behavioral issues, were strewn around the house for the next several weeks, pieces to games were lost or broken before they were ever really played, and I was left feeling cranky and disappointed. This wasn’t what Christmas was really all about. No one really needs to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to impress family, friends, or neighbors. I had had enough, so I did it. I cancelled Christmas.
Surprisingly, to me, my husband didn’t really care. I mean, he had certain questions and concerns, but when I explained how I felt and what I thought the holiday should mean, he agreed. “But, will we have a tree?” he asked. “Will there be ANY presents? What about Santa?” It turned out that these have become the same questions everyone has when they hear about my decision. So I thought I would answer as many of them as I can today…. the day after our Winter Solstice celebration.
For the next several months after our last Christmas, I researched older traditions of Christmas and learned about Winter Solstice. As I learned about Winter Solstice, I shared what I learned, and my husband started to get excited with me. “That sounds perfect! But will you still bake cookies?” Ugh. He was getting there. So, together we decided exactly how we would reinvent the holiday season in a way that met our needs, our bank account, and kept our sanity. It has been amazing, and I will NEVER go back!
First, our most important decision was that celebrating the holiday would mean that we only do what we want to do and NO more. If we want to decorate, we do. If we don’t, we don’t. Today is December 23rd and there is no Christmas tree set up in my house. We have lights, a Christmas village, stuffed Santas and snowmen, window clings, but no tree. There has been very little talk about getting a tree, and our major celebration was yesterday. If I want to bake cookies, I do. If one of my older daughters wants to bake cookies, I tell them, “Go for it!” Of course we attend all of the Christmas programs my children are involved in, and I now find myself actually enjoying the performance instead of using the time to mentally plan my next trip to the toy store, grocery store, or determining shipping dates for presents I still need to order. It is so much nicer!
My youngest girls still believed in Santa when we made the change, and that was the hardest part to figure out, but I knew that there would only be one or two presents from Santa on Christmas morning because, really, no one needs more than that. And they historically break and misuse the majority of things that are purchased for them. It becomes a huge waste of money. So what, exactly DO we do? We follow some very old fashioned traditions of Winter Solstice. First, We have a yule log.
Winter Solstice is about rebirth, a new year, the return of light and heat; the return of the sun. I can get behind that. The actual day of Winter Solstice, in the Northern Hemisphere, is the longest night of the entire year. After that day, the minutes of sunshine get longer again until the longest day, the Summer Solstice in June. Tradition is to light a bonfire and have a yule log where you record either your wishes for the next year, and/or the things you would like to put behind you from the previous year.
Our bonfire is started in the afternoon and goes for several hours. We drink mulled cider, hot chocolate, coffee with bailey’s or whatever we want to drink. The point is to make the celebration enjoyable and less stress. I like less stress. And I love a good bonfire!
You may notice the cute little yellow smiley face in the pictures above. His name is Seymour, and he is a seed of happiness that was given to me by a friend. Turns out, John gave a little seed of happiness to our daughter several years ago, and without knowing that, my friend gave this one to me. He helped us feel like John was with us throughout the day. Seymour will accompany us on as many adventures as possible. If you are interested, you can get your own Seeds of Happiness!
At the end of the evening, the yule log is placed upon the fire so that it is burned and the wishes are sent above, hopefully to be granted.
We also do some type of gift exchange.There is a strict and very low price set on how much each person spends. This year it was thirty dollars per person. That’s it. Seriously, The total cost for everyone’s gifts is under $150 for our family that is now five people.
Sometimes we buy a general gift that would be good for everyone and play a game to select a gift, and sometimes we do a “secret Santa” where we draw the name of someone in the family and get thirty dollars worth of gifts for that person. Everyone enjoyed their gifts. They write down some suggestions of things that they would like to help the buyer out.
We eat. I make chili in the slow cooker and it simmers away all day for people to grab when they want. We have crackers and cheese, cookies, chex mix, mixed nuts, chips and dip, stollen, whatever is easy. I have enjoyed the day so much more each year. My husband immediately noticed that I was less stressed the entire time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and, “A happy wife is a happy life,” he would say!
Most of all, we just spend time together. We talk, listen to music, watch movies, laugh, eat, and play games. We go outside by the fire at times, and go back into the house at other times. Best of all, on the day after Winter Solstice, which usually falls a few days before Christmas, I am essentially done. DONE! And THEN, I’m able to enjoy Christmas and the new traditions we have made for that day. But, I’ll share more about that in a few days. RIght now, on December 23rd, it’s time for me to put my feet up, sip some coffee, and decide what we will do today.
If you, or someone you care about is dealing with grief, here are some tips for coping with grief from people who are dealing with it themselves!
