Around North America in 83 Days Cancer Family Grief Positive Living RV Life Travel

Must See Stops 6: Albuquerque, NM – Day 49 of 83

May 24, 2019February 2, 2020 Our Class Cee Life #grievingbutbreathing, #healing, #nationalpark, #travel, albuquerque, art, Best Places In The West, camping, chilis, family, jewelry, lifestyle, nature, newmexico, oldtown, Photo, RVTravel

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Introduction: John and I had plans to travel. We had plans to find a way to become full-time RVers, but in reality we knew that this would probably have to wait for retirement due to his medical conditions. When he was diagnosed with angiosarcoma cancer in May 2017, he ended up being trapped in a hospital room for 83 days. He was admitted for six different hospitalizations in four different hospitals in three different cities before unexpectedly dying in the hospital on Oct. 5, 2017. You can read about the day he died Part 1 and Part 2. I then made Big Plans to take a trip to the places we had wanted to go and see together. For months I planned the trip: an 83 day trip in my RV with my two youngest daughters, almost 14,000 miles around the United States in 83 days! Each day would take back a day that was stolen from John in the hospital. This is one of 10 stories from my “Must See” destinations.

I looked down at the vibrating phone in my hand seeing that the caller ID read, “My Honey.” I hadn’t even said hello and John excitedly started talking, “Oh my God, Kristyn! I HAVE to bring you here! It’s beautiful! I’m looking out my hotel window at mountains, there is all kinds of cultural stuff that you would love! Tomorrow we are going to this place called Old Town. I have a brochure about it and you would just love it!”

“How are you feeling?” I asked him. A few days earlier he had been diagnosed with an infection…and of all possible places for a man to have an infection, it was a testicular infection. This made sitting on an airplane for several hours a very uncomfortable experience.

“It’s not better yet. But I only started taking the antibiotics a few days ago. It will take awhile.”

Each day that John was in Albuquerque he called me with similar excitement. He learned that the mountain range was named the Sandia Mountains. He ate amazing foods and sampled both green and red chilies, a staple food of the area. His excitement was contagious and I dreamed of being with him. I dreamed of being somewhere away from the frigid, white winter of Northern Wisconsin, even for a few days. In each phone call he mentioned all of the colors and how bright and warm everything was. And he also mentioned that his infection was not improving, it was getting worse.

A few days after he returned home with the gift of a small cactus for me, he went back to the doctor. That day he was diagnosed with stage 2 testicular cancer and the next day he had surgery to remove it. He started an intensive chemo regimen that lasted for several months. The doctors all told him, “If you were to get cancer, THIS is the kind you want because it is curable.” Curable. He could be ok. And he was. Eight years after being cured of testicular cancer, he was diagnosed with stage 4 angiosarcoma, a completely unrelated rare cancer that was incurable, but treatable. This time his body did not handle the chemo well at all. He had complication after complication, and just when things were finally looking like they were improving, he died at a routine ultrasound procedure in the hospital.

I HAD to include Albuquerque in my trip! That morning, I drove from Winslow, Arizona, taking time to stop at the Petrified Forest National Park. I had been driving and living in the desert for several weeks, and had not seen a drop of rain for a month. I had pushed the washer fluid button to spray the windshield for the upteenth time, partly to wash off the desert dust and partly because I was still intrigued by how the fluid dried in seconds! The desert was so foreign to me. At home, the washer fluid would often get pushed onto the driver and passenger windows by the wind, never evaporating at all. But here I had to cut the wiper cycle short or they would scrape against the dry windshield.

As you come into the Albuquerque area from the west, the city seems like it will never arrive. You cannot see it ahead of you at all. Suddenly, I was met with the first drops of rain that I had seen in weeks, then it began to pour and finally I was greeted by the familiar sight and sound of thunder and lightening. I hadn’t seen this since I was at my stop in Seattle, WA!

Then, the city just appeared and as I winded my way down into the town, a rainbow greeted me and made me cry as I entered the city John wanted so badly to bring me to. It was as if he were greeting me with a spectacular show of nature! I smiled and cried at the same time as I drove along the Sandia Mountains to the KOA Kampground where I had confirmed a spot the day before.

The next day I drove to Old Town. And John was right! I loved it! I loved everything about it! The pueblo style buildings, the green and red chili peppers hanging everywhere, the jewelry stalls set up along the sidewalk with turquoise bracelets, rings, and necklaces popping with color as they were laid out against dark velvet rugs on the ground. The art shops and the quiet little courtyards where you could get a good cup of coffee to sip while people watching. We walked around many of the stores, and looked in some of the shops. As we made our way to the Old Town Plaza in the center of Old Town, I could hear the New Mexican music pulling me towards the pavilion. A group of musicians were playing, so we sat for awhile and listened, never noticing the church across the street.

Musicians playing in Old Town, Albuquerque

Soon after the music had ended, the church bells rang and the doors opened. Hundreds of people poured out of the church that had seemed so empty only moments before. They milled around in small groups, talking, dabbing their eyes with tissues, and giving each other long emotion filled embraces. They were all dressed in black. I stared at them for a long time and felt their sorrow. I felt their grief. I was tempted to go over and tell them how sorry I was but I knew that this would either make me look more freakish than I normally appear to be, or it would scare them and get me arrested. So, I continued to sit and watch until my daughters were so bored by the whole experience that they tugged at my arm and pulled me up to my feet, forcing me to walk away.

We found a little courtyard filled with cacti, Alena’s newly found favorite plant, and I took some photos. We ended up spending several days in Albuquerque in order to take a day off from travel to celebrate Kady’s birthday. In those few days, I fell in love with Albuquerque just as John had done several years before. He had said, “Kristyn, I can see you living here,” and I couldn’t argue with the memory of what he had said. This city had everything I love, mountains, good food, cooler weather compared to the desert because of the elevation, good music, and kind people. This stop had been a promise keeper, but instead of me keeping a promise that I had made to John, it turned out that he kept his to me… he finally showed me the beauty of Albuquerque!

If you would like to go RVing, here’s Everything You Need To Know!

If you, or someone you care about is dealing with grief, here are some tips for coping with grief from people who are dealing with it themselves!

See the urn I’m holding? John picked it out himself AFTER he died. Honestly! You can read about his Hand Turned Wooden Urn!