Must See Stops 8: Galveston, TX Days 55 – 58 of 83

July 28, 2019January 11, 2020 Our Class Cee Life #healing, #travel, family, friends, galveston, griefsupport, HealingJourney

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Introduction: John and I had plans to travel. We had plans to find a way to become full-time RVers, but in reality we knew that this would probably have to wait for retirement due to his medical conditions. When he was diagnosed with angiosarcoma cancer in May 2017, he ended up being trapped in a hospital room for 83 days. He was admitted for six different hospitalizations in four different hospitals in three different cities before unexpectedly dying in the hospital on Oct. 5, 2017. You can read about the day he died Part 1 and Part 2. I then made Big Plans to take a trip to the places we had wanted to go and see together. For months I planned the trip: an 83 day trip in my RV with my two youngest daughters, almost 14,000 miles around the United States in 83 days! Each day would take back a day that was stolen from John in the hospital. This is one of 10 stories from my “Must See” destinations.

The driveway was free from snow. In the Northwoods of Wisconsin in March, this was something unexpected and fell perfectly within our plans. We were planning to take the camper on the road for Spring Break. Not to go to the bikini clad beaches of the college student spring break, not to find sunshine and warm weather, but to go to the Grand Canyon.

The camper was almost packed and ready to go. John was excited, the girls were excited, and I was excited. And then our world changed. We had no idea when that moment arrived that it would mean two to three years of almost continuous trauma. We had no idea that our lives would spiral out of control, leaving us clawing to pull ourselves up from the dark pit of trauma and grief that we had been dumped into. I had no idea, at that time, that the final blow would be to lose my husband. No, on this day we were excited, until the phone rang and I was given the news.

Grief Support for my mother who had Alzheimers. — My mother in the rehabilitation center. I can see the affects of Alzheimer’s in her expression.

My mother, who had been suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease that had slowly progressed and stolen her sanity had fallen again. She had been placed in a rehabilitation center to build her strength so that she could return to her room at the assisted living facility. On the phone, the nurses told me that her behavior was once again out of control. She was becoming verbally argumentative, was refusing to eat and refusing to take her medications unless I coaxed her to do so either over the phone or in person. With three meals a day and multiple medications, this was taking a lot of my day. How could we leave for a vacation now? If anything would happen to her, I would never have been able to forgive myself. So we postponed the trip. There would always be another opportunity to go to the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon would always be there, we would just go together another time.

If you would like to go RVing, here’s Everything You Need To Know!

If you, or someone you care about is dealing with grief, here are some tips for coping with grief from people who are dealing with it themselves!

Grief support. Our family during trauma. — I’m so glad that we made this trip when we did. John was already in pain, but we managed to see and do amazing things.

Two years later, my mother had died and so had my father-in-law. We decided, once again, to travel as a way to heal from the grief. Our RV trip to Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Devil’s Tower, and the Badlands had gone so well, we were now experienced in hauling the camper all over the country. It was time to plan that trip to the Grand Canyon! However, S=since returning from the trip to Yellowstone, John had been struggling with pain in his right knee. He was working with physical therapy and had done other procedures to help him manage the pain and correct the problem. A trip to the Grand Canyon seemed too far away for him to sit comfortably in a car, so I made plans to go to an ocean, another one of our favorite destinations!

I searched on the map for a location that would be close enough but not filled with too many college kids during Spring Break, and came up with a location that seemed perfect for all of us! Galveston, Texas! It had saltwater and seafood, an amusement park and waterpark for the girls, and a flight museum for John. I found a fantastic RV Park that was right on the water and once again, we were set to go! Except that John was in too much pain. He broke the news to me a few days before we were supposed to leave. He really didn’t think that he could sit for the long car ride. Sitting in the car to drive to Chicago (about 5 hours one way) had proven very painful for him and he didn’t think that he could manage a trip over 20 hours away. So we postponed it, again. Galveston would always be there, right? We could go after his pain had improved.

Wrong.

Two months later we were told that the pain was actually cancer. Angiosarcoma, a rare, incurable, aggressive cancer that had already spread to his lung. Five months later, he died.

John spent 83 days in the hospital suffering from angiosarcoma and the effects of treatment. We were isolated, cut off from family and friends, scared, and had few people who understood what we were going through.

Living it up for a few minutes. An earned and much needed break on the sundeck at Mayo Rochester.

While John was in the hospital, I found an amazing family of support in an online group of people suffering from or caregiving for the type of cancer that John had. I could post a question or a comment at any time of the day or night and there was always someone with a reply within a minutes. Any. Time. Of. The. Day. If you have ever spent the night in a hospital, afraid and lonely, listening to the never ending sound of IV machines, dreading the buzzing of carts at 4am when phlebotomists come to draw blood (affectionately called vampire bats) there is nothing like having a conversation with someone who has been there and gets it at 2:30 in the morning. Or at any time. That is where I met Lori. Lori’s husband (oddly enough, his name was also John) died from angiosarcoma a few years earlier and she had remained on the site to provide support to others. She and others like Jill and Julie and Corrie, provided support to me. I will never be able to express my gratitude.

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So, Galveston became a MUST SEE for me because of the trip I had planned with John, and because I would be able to meet my friend in person.

I contacted Lori, telling her that I would be near Houston (where she lives) and that I would love to meet her in person. She did even better. She and her husband Dave (Dave lost his first wife to angiosarcoma. Dave and Lori met in the online support group. Their love story is one of pure magic) bought a waterfront home in the Galveston area and invited us to stay with them for a few days! And I accepted! Remember, we had NEVER actually met, and we were now invited to spend a few days in their new beachhouse. Accepting an offer like this was something I had never done, but my trip was all about letting things happen, and so I let this happen.

travel grief healing. — Our feet had already been in the Pacific Ocean on this trip, now they were also in the Gulf, and soon they would also touch the Atlantic… all in the same trip!

travel grief support — The pool at the RV Park

The first night in Galveston, before Lori and Dave arrived, we stayed at the RV Park that John and I had picked a few years earlier. It was right on the Gulf, and the littles and I spent time walking along the beach and swimming in the waterfront pool at the RV Park. The next day, while waiting for Lori and Dave to arrive, we left the RV Park and spent some time along the seawall, again swimming and looking at rocks an shells. And then, Lori and Dave arrived! I followed them to the beachhouse. We had known each other for over a year online, and meeting in person seemed natural and easy right from the start!

travel and grief support. — Parked on the seawall, waiting to meet new old friends.

Within minutes we were more than good friends. We became family. We met their wonderful neighbors who cooked us a fresh fish dinner that had been caught the same morning. We swam. We took the girls to the amusement park on a day where it was over 100 degrees outside. But mostly, we just shared our stories. We talked and we listened and we connected in a way that I haven’t often found in my life. Near the last day of our stay, they invited us to stay an extra day. Worried that good company can go bad very quickly – I was nervous to risk having things turn and didn’t want to leave on a bad note- but I also knew that being with Lori and Dave was healing for all of us. So we stayed an extra day.

Meeting these two people has changed me, it has changed my life. Months later I drove back to Galveston with all of my daughters to spend some of our Christmas vacation with them. A month after that I met up with them again to attend a concert of my number one, all-time favorite musician, Billy Joel. You can read all about that magical gift HERE.

It was evident that my husband John was present throughout my trip, and this magical gift was only more evidence.

Galveston had been a place I dreamed of going as a family, and after losing such an important member of the family, going to Galveston became a mission towards healing. Now, having been blessed to meet Lori and Dave and build an even better friendship with them, Galveston has become an oasis. It is now and will forever be a place of healing, a place of relaxation, but most importantly – a place of friendship so strong that it becomes new family.