Planning a Road Trip As a Widow

There are several questions that people ask me when they learn that I took a 13,800 mile RV trip around the country in 83 days with my two girls. Usually, the first question is something like, “Are you nuts?” And the obvious answer to that question is, “Yes, I am!” But honestly, a lot went into planning that road trip as a widow. I’d like to share some of the things that I learned, and some other answers to questions that people have had.

 

Safety First!

One of the first things I was asked about was safety. As a single woman traveling with two young girls, how would I keep us safe? The first and most important tools I used were my head and my gut. On the 83 day trip, there were less than five times where I felt uncomfortable, and I used that feeling to help me make safe decisions on the road as a widow.

There were two or three times that I pulled into a WalMart parking lot to boondock and had a funny feeling in my gut that this wasn’t the best location. I trusted that feeling. I parked my motorhome and set up as though we were staying for the night while watching my surroundings very closely. I sat and looked around, seeing if my gut would settle down. If, after several minutes, my gut still told me that things were not as safe as I would have liked, I used the apps on my phone that helped me to find boondocking locations and drove to a different spot. Most of the time, I only had to drive a few miles but on one occasion I drove almost another hour until I felt comfortable.

When my gut still told me that things were not as safe as I would have liked,

I moved!

When I was boondocking in a location that didn’t have cell phone service, I took a photo on my phone of my location using google maps. My location showed up as a blue dot. Then, I found a place to send a text message to my family so that they would know my location if something should happen to us.

My motorhome became a very safe way to travel. If I had been traveling in a travel trailer, my girls and I would have needed to get out of our towing vehicle to get into the trailer, and I would have been exposed as a woman travelling alone. But because my motorhome is self contained, I was able to pull into a spot and no one knew who was in the rig with me. They had no idea that I was a widow travelling alone with children. This was an unexpected safety measure for me!

Trip Planning

A lot went into planning my trip. And I continue to use these same planning methods for my trips. Because of the recent coronavirus school closings, I’m planning to take that time to travel in my motorhome again and see some of the places that are still on my list of “Must See” places! I’m hoping to go to Utah and then Texas!

The first thing that I do is plan my route and my destinations. Then I turn to google maps to see how many driving hours it will take to get to the different destinations. I have learned how many hours I can safely drive in a day. I have always loved to drive, so my number is probably very different from yours. Once you figure out that number, you can start to plan where you will need to stop for an overnight on your way to your final destination.

Next, I roughly plan out my trip day by day. For example, if I were to drive to Arches National Park from my home in northern Wisconsin, I would plan for three driving days of six or seven hours of driving each day. Then, using a calendar, I would assign those first few days as “Driving to Arches,” and “Arrive at Arches,” I would then decide how many days I would like to spend at that national park and Canyonlands which is very close. Two to three days in each would be enough, and then I would plan more driving days. Again, you have to plan the number of hours of driving that you plan to do each day for what is best for you!

You have to plan the number of hours of driving that you plan to do each day for what is best for you!

Once I’m on the road, I have a daily routine. I wake up early to make coffee and finalize my route because once I start driving there is no one to quickly ask, “Was I supposed to stay on this highway or take that exit?” I have to know or make a lot of U-Turns! After a few hours I stop to take a break and that’s where I use my travel planning apps to find either a free boondocking location or a campground for the evening.

Many RV travelers are not aware that RV campgrounds tend to keep a few sites available with a first come – first served status for people like me who are on the road and just need a last minute place to stay. I prefer to boondock at WalMart or truck stops whenever possible. If I do want to make a reservation at an RV Park, I call them from the road and can set up a last minute reservation for that night. In my trip around the country, this only failed me once, on the East coast where the campground was legitimately full (it was a weekend) and my backup plan was to stay at a truck stop, which turned out to be a luxury stop as they had electricity!

Managing My Children’s Schedules on the Road

I mentioned earlier that my routine included getting up early in the morning, making coffee and finalizing my travel route for the day. I did this while my girls slept. I tried to get on the road by 6:30am or 7:00am at the latest. I would leave later if it was a full travel day only so that I didn’t arrive at a boondocking parking lot location too early.

With my fresh cup of coffee, my favorite tunes, and the open road, I would drive for about three hours and then stop for a breakfast break. The girls would get up, I would make some breakfast and after eating we would get the RV into what I call “daytime” mode. Beds were made, hair and teeth were brushed (using different brushes!) and the girls would get dressed. Then I would complete the travel for the day, usually arriving at my destination around 2pm or 3pm depending upon if we had crossed a time zone or if we made other stops along the way.

Once the driving for the day was finished, we would explore and have fun! After supper was cleaned up and the girls were watching either a movie or television, I would sit down and plan my travel route for the next day. This was my routine for the entire 83 day trip, and there was something soothing and comforting to me about this routine. I was living in the moment.

“Weren’t you afraid something terrible would happen, like getting a flat tire or having engine trouble?” many people asked me. Honestly, as a cancer widow who had lost seven family members in 26 months, I had lived through things which were scary and unpredictable from one moment to another. For years. I had very little control over what happened during that time. Living with such long-term fear of people dying, which they did, meant that I really wasn’t afraid of bad things happening anymore. I had lived through much worse than being stranded on the side of the highway. Plus, I had travel assistance to help me if I needed it!

Food Planning and Prep

In order to keep costs down and eat meals that were healthier than daily fast food stops, I kept my RV kitchen well stocked. I had several appliances with me that are now part of every trip I take. After breakfast, I would start defrosting any frozen foods that I would need later in the day. After a full day of driving, the last thing I wanted to do was to spend hours cooking, and I perfected quick home cooked meals using the 8 best RV cooking tools you will ever need!

“Weren’t you overwhelmed everyday?” was another question that I was often asked. Nope! Again, compared to living the unpredictable life as a caregiver for so many years, I was in control of each day. I picked where I went, I picked what we did. I picked what we ate, and I picked where we slept. It was a soothing schedule for both me and my girls.

And now?

I can’t wait to hit the road again in a few days and live this lifestyle once again!

Hope to see you on the road!

If you would like to go RVing, here’s Everything You Need To Know!